From Caroline Bong

My mum is humble and a person who speaks gently. She is the pillar that maintains our small peaceful family.

However, when I was little, there were few incidences where mum let her guard down in front of my relatives. Once during the CNY, I found her holding up her tears at the washroom. During the Ching Ming festival, she was often seen sobbing in front of my paternal grandfather’s tomb. As a child, I felt insecure and confused on how mum portrayed herself publicly. Worst, I felt bad for not knowing how to offer my support to her during that time.

It was only when I got bigger, mum shared bout how her father’s life was perished in a boat tragedy, when she was 12. My heart sank thinking back that she must be feeling homesick during the festivities and it must be heart-wrenching for not able to bury her own father’s body. It is undeniably that Mum has not recover from the pain of the loss and she kept it to herself.

That’s not all. When I was 21 years old, I learnt from my aunt that my mum had difficulty delivering me as a breech baby. During those time, husbands are not allowed into the room and she had to push me without the support she needed. She must have planned to keep this news from me as long as she could because she didn’t want me to feel bad.

Many years later, I become a mother myself and God knows all the ups and downs we are going through as a mum. I’ve come to realise that there is no “right time” for a woman to enter motherhood. As a mother, we just continue to learn each day and hence it is important that we are given the space to experience all the emotions. There is not one human on earth is perfect so why should we expect a mother to be one?

“Thank you mum for keeping all these plight to yourself. As much as I wish you’d share your pain with me earlier, I wouldn’t want to change it a bit, because I acknowledge and respect your decision to sacrifice as a mother and wife.
And it is ok to cry. Let’s embrace the hurt and learn to move on. I will not give up on loving you despite all your frailty because you first of all did not give up on me in the labour room. Love you, mum.”